Clutch Survives His Constipation

Midway through the Poo Championsh*t it looked to be borefest. Then "The Clutch" clogged. Until then, he was serving Drano and the competition was gassin'. Let's give you some stats so you can see for yourself how the Clutch's Poo Championsh*t run of 4-3-1 only pushes peanut butter through carpet.

Clutch was winning 3-1-1 and constipation befalled him. ANT was only in the finals 3 times and even then, should consider himself lucky because he simply sucked today. Soon a 3-3-1 tie between ANT and Clutch, with only one game away from the Championsh*t, brought a needed intensity. Time to Poo!

sChag... the best pure shooter of all of us... Square the shoulders and click the heels... the poly sings! He was in more finals more and shot better than ANT by far but the record doesn't show it. sChag had game.

In the finals for the Poo Championsh*t it came down to sChag and Clutch. sChag wins and we play another game. Both were on the letter "S". Clutch produced a barrage of shots that sChag said he was "just trying to keep up with". We are talking Clutch going 9 of 10 and sChag after an early "H" only slipped on poo for the last 2 shots. It was intense.

I'm glad I was there... PooTrophy - I'm flushing!

Nobody wins, but everyone has a good POO!

The Championsh*t was moving along with a 2-2 tie between sChag and Clutch with ANT dragging a$$ with only 1 win. PooTrophy thinks that sChag had this win. Clutch was proving a mighty foe, but ANT was making enough shots to keep Clutch wallowing knee deep in stinky, sticky cheese.

Then... disaster struck! Or was it? PooTrophy thinks not. Out of a bad situation produced a good, satisfying poo (yes, the corn you had last night). Up until this point ANT had asked for permission from Tom, Clutch's Dad, and Jesse, sChag's Grandpa to work with Clutch and sChag to create the trophy. Other than permission from Clutch's Dad, Tom - ANT hadn't spoken to him much.

Tonight ANT had the opportunity to talk with Tom about what had transpired. The result: A better understanding of what happened and a clear path of where to go if something like this should happen again. Specifically from ~ANT: I want to thank Tom for the opportunity to make it all make sense. No "Hershey Squirts".... simple honesty, respect, and trust. Good stuff!

It should be said because they deserve all of our respect!!!:..... Without Tom, Sheryl, Jesse, Deb, and Ann playing for this trophy could have never happened. As long as we play by the rules we can play FOREVER!! Forever rules!... because it's not possible.

Thank you-PooTrophy, I'm out!

Clutch and sChag get a case of "THE BURNS"

ANT grows sideburns for intimidation. Did it work? ANT came home with the trophy and is now on a run. In a lazy, unfocused game ANT stayed out in front just far enough to never be concerned about losing the trophy. With his 2nd win in a row he is working on a short, but good run. Check out the Championsh*t Records... 8 to 7 to 1.... a comeback is happening!

~ANT Banks on Poo Trophy

Bam - Swoosh! Bam - Swoosh! Clutch brought his girl, but it didn't help. Bam - Swoosh! Bam - Swoosh! sChag wanted the Poo Trophy, but Bam - Swoosh, Bam - Swoosh, Bam - Swoosh!! Without remorse ANT went to the bank to score his 6th Poo Championsh*t.

sChag put up a Herculean effort resorting to easy, short shots to win the trophy. ANT missed quite a few easy shots giving sChag his opportunity for the Poo Trophy. Then, Bam - Swoosh! ANT has used this strategy many times for a Trophy win and it has worked. You can't admonish sChag for working the same strategy. Then... Bam - Swoosh!

Like a great machine gun style poo.... bam, bam, bam, bam... water splashing on the...! Not all are on target, but enough are made to leave the faces of those left behind covered in the stench of old flatus and septic tank style feces.

ANT Banks on Poo Trophy and wins! I'm out - PooTrophy -

Clutch Squeezes Out Multi-Wipe Win

It was messy. PooTrophy would liken it to pushing crunchy peanut butter through carpet with toilet paper. Just ain't gonna get it all out! Any which way you put it "The Clutch" brought home the Poo Championsh*t Trophy.

sChag and ANT had game today, but it wasn't enough. When we three sat down on our individual thrones ANT was giving swirly's to the competition. Quickly ANT's 2-0-0 run was flushed. sChag and Clutch fought back to tie everything at 2-2-2. Winning the Poo Trophy wouldn't be that easy... there would be some constipation.

sChag trailed 3-3-2 behind ANT and Clutch. ANT could only watch and hope sChag would perservere over "The Clutch" as they were in the finals for the last game. With the last shot the rock wouldn't fall for sChag and Clutch squeezed out a shot that's a staple of his diet on this court. The Poo Championsh*t was over.

Nature knew. Time was up and the rains came. We shot the images just in time, but nature said it was over. It was as if the Poo Championsh*t Trophy was meant to go to "The Clutch".

Skunked! ~ANT sniffs out competitors weaknesses

In Poo Championsh*t Trophy history there has only been one skunk... the Inaugural event. Since then the matches have been mostly close with an overtime win by "The Clutch". Today was a weird disaster on many levels. Albeit ANT put some "stank" on it propelling him to a 3-0-0 win, but there was something missing.
Could it have been the break that was taken because ANT needed to talk to a customer? Could it have been the fun factor has changed because the three of the competitors - Clutch, sChag, and ANT have become so serious about the trophy? Could it be a new court must be found?
PooTrophy interviewed ANT after the win and he tried to answer those questions. We asked if the break made a difference in the overall outcome ANT's responded simply, "I didn't see much of a difference. I started hitting more, sChag was playing his usual, and Clutch wasn't hitting all day. We followed a similar pattern after the break".
PooTrophy then asked about the fun factor. Specifically, "Has the competition become so fierce that getting to the trophy win isn't worth the journey?"
ANT emphatically answered "No, it's always worth it." He continued more calmly "Whatever the journey, however I win a trophy, it's always crazy. It's never the same. The fun factor... I'm having fun, but I also think we need a spark. A change of venues would help a bit"
"So a change in location might help spark a new fire?" PooTrophy asks.
ANT replied, "It would help. It would give us all something new to try, but it won't fix everything. We will always be serious, but we need to get serious about having some fun too. Add some music, bring back the trash talking... that would help too".
PooTrophy was surprised by the response and begged the question "Trash Talking?"
"Yes." ANT replied with a sigh of a laugh. "Today there were complaints about my bank shots, but I only heard it under their breath. Trash talk... say it out loud. I'm game... it's fun and that is what we built this trophy for. During the game... say what you want. Before and after... respect. We need more trash... and maybe a new venue. I'll see what I can do."
So a SKUNK it is. However we got there ~ANT takes the trophy home.

Clutch promises Poo Trophy home to Mom

"The Clutch" promised to bring the trophy home to Mom. He better hope we don't play before Mother's Day because ~ANT is promising his Mom the trophy! No stalling... we shall play for the trophy for the right to show our Mom's on Mother's Day.

Clutch was on fire today. The end result showed no effort, no will-power, no positive thinking was going to stop "The Clutch". The final tally was 4-2-1 with ~ANT showing second, and sChag pulling in his usual 1 game wonders obliterating both Clutch and ~ANT.

Clutch kept his promise by bringing home the trophy to Mom. Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's to all of our Mothers and the Mothers out there!

~ANT wins the Trophy back!!

~ANT wins the trophy back and stops the winning streak of The Clutch to four in a row! sChag played spoiler late in the rounds with a shooting surge, but was unable to defeat ~ANT on his way to the Championsh_t. The last heated round ended with a bank shot made by ~ANT from a mere 16 feet away. Unlike his name The Clutch unusually missed.

The rounds tallied out to 4-3-0 with ~ANT taking the Poo Trophy home, The Clutch in second, and sChag.